A lot happens in a lifetime. Some things are good, some are bad. Many are ordinary and are forgotten in a moment. But some things leave their mark – whether they’re people, places, or events. They stick with us and shape who we are. Over time, we build up a collection full of memories, lessons, feelings and relationships linked with these experiences, and each day we pack more and more into what I envision as a big mental suitcase. We carry this baggage everywhere with us. But, like anything, these suitcases only have a limited capacity. What happens when they fill up? What happens when they’re just too heavy to carry around anymore?
In a previous blog post, I’ve touched upon how in the past I’ve carried a lot of bitterness around over my experiences during my early teen years. Even many years later, there were a lot of times when my hurt over it all would completely consume me and, no matter what I did, I just couldn’t seem to move past it or come to terms with the events that had a part in that hurt. Towards the end of last year, it got to the point where each second I was alone, I was thinking about this anger and I wasn’t able to do much else with my time. As a result, I was no longer able to focus on the here and now and no longer adding to my bank of positive experiences and memories. Though I kept trying to find some closure, believing that if I focused on these past experiences instead of running from them it would allow me to come to terms with them, all I found was that carrying these feelings with me and constantly reflecting on them brought more misery and made moving on impossible. After months of heightened anxiety from these thoughts, I realised that the only way I could get myself back into the real world and fill my life with goodness was if I simply accepted that the negative feelings would never change or help me become a better person and that anything which wasn’t enriching my life didn’t need to be there anymore.
Negative thoughts and experiences are heavier than positive ones and when you cling onto something that makes you feel sad, angry, or hopeless, your whole world will be weighted down and make it impossible to move. If you’re trapped under a pile of negative baggage, you’ll never be able to search out the positive things in life like new places, friendships and passions.
Sometimes, it can be about finding a positive in the negative and lightening the load. You can get stronger by moving through difficulties and coming out the other side. But, sometimes we’re just not ready for this and in that case, the only thing you can do is let it go. Take that negative baggage out of your suitcase and walk away. Identify the things in your life which are not lifting you up and discard them so that you can make room for the things that do. Make sure that the only things that occupy your time and dictate the way you feel are things which make you happy for each day and make every experience feel effortless to enjoy.
Since changing my perspective and deciding to rid myself of negative emotions linked to difficult times in my life, I’ve found that I’ve never been happier. I finally have time to spend with others, build amazing relationships, try new things and find new passions. Of course, it’s normal for some days to come with new difficult experiences which bring us down every now and then, but choosing not to dwell on them for longer than necessary truly makes it so much easier to enjoy and appreciate the good in your lives.
Just let it go.
Have the best day, beautiful!