Outfit details: Top – Fabletics. Leggings – Sweaty Betty.
Come January, there is only one thought on everyone’s mind. New Year’s resolutions. A resolve to make a change, turn our lives around, break that bad habit or finally do that thing we’ve been putting off all year. Whether they’re said aloud, written in journals or just a thought that’s crossed your mind, no doubt you’ve come up with some goals or intentions to make this year better than last.
You’ve probably encountered the endless articles and blog posts on how to make your resolutions a reality. You’ve read the usual tips – be specific, make small goals, set a deadline, hold yourself accountable, and create a plan. You may even have bought one of those programmes, books or products promising to make this time a success. Yet most of those goals will still be left a distant memory by the time February rolls around and 2017 will just be another year you didn’t reach the heights you set out to.
It isn’t a lack of motivation or achievability that makes resolutions so tough to follow through on. It isn’t your poor planning, meager determination or even financial investment. It’s the negative mentality that surrounds their creation.
Resolutions are forged from the depths of our insecurities. We pick the things we like least about ourselves: our appearance, our relationships, our careers, our habits. We identify everything we dislike, everything society has branded as undesirable, and we tell ourselves that, in order to be happier, we need to change those things and start afresh. We aim to rid of ourselves of affliction and commit to a ‘new me’. But because resolutions are built on a foundation of self loathing, those goals are implemented as an act of punishment. They are driven by negative reinforcement, having us believe that once we make that change, our dissatisfaction will disappear. But here’s the thing. Self loathing doesn’t arise from a particular property of your life. It manifest from within and so long as your goals are a product of your insecurities, your progress will be continually stunted by that voice telling you that you’re not good enough.
When you reach a hurdle, that voice will mock your inability to jump instead of reminding you that you know how to climb. When you make a mistake, that voice shouts “game over” instead of instructing you to aid and repair. If this voice is the guardian of your goals, then every action you take will be met with criticism no matter what and soon enough you’ll feel exhausted trying to appease a voice that will always want you to fail.
“What you need to achieve your goals once and for all is a little more self love…”
Let the voice that guides your actions this year not be a voice of hatred but of kindness, empathy and encouragement. A voice to offer reassurance that you are beautiful, strong, capable, passionate and to remind you that your imperfections don’t define you. Your worth is not determined by the way you look, the job you have or the possessions you own. You don’t need to change in order to be happy. You just have to realise that everything you are is enough to craft your own greatness. Only when you are happy within yourself will you be able to muster the drive and confidence to achieve truly fulfilling goals. Goals that are a reflection of your beauty, not a condition of it.
When you take a wrong step, it isn’t a failure but an opportunity to explore and to discover. And when things don’t go the way you planned, don’t take it as an error but as a chance to learn and recalculate before making your next move.Learn to forgive yourself and don’t wallow in self-deprecation. Happiness cannot blossom in a bitter environment.
At a time of year when the world thrives off you hating yourself, be bold enough to accept that you are brilliant just as you are. That you will not be a slave to your insecurities any longer. That will be your greatest achievement and that will see you further than any desire to change who you are ever will.
If you need help finding that voice of motivation, remember I’m always here to cheer you on…